xv. i don't want that anymore

i’ve been dreaming of the maps i made
on your back
you said that summer was a wish of which
you would take back

i’m still smoking that same damn pack
of cigarettes
wasting away my pretty face
just like you wasted my days

and i don’t even want that anymore
i don’t even wish that you stayed
my writer’s itch became a bitch
i couldn’t satiate
and i don’t even want that anymore

i don’t even know what has been plaguing my mind
as of late
we’re sending letters
but we never
communicate

cause even if
you poured it out
all for me

what am i to do
with liquor now
that i can’t drink?