Menace

Feeling kinda jaded about how you treated me last night
I guess it’s just another day blown by the wasters, is that right?
I don’t even know if you want it this way
I think I reached the point where I can’t stay
Don’t wanna be your emotional punching bag if that’s how you see me

I was a menace and you knew it
Everything good I had to ruin
You couldn’t even call my bluff
When I’d reach for the window and never jump

I wish I was more receptive to you
But I can only do so much of what you won’t do
There’s dirt in my toes
A spider in my nose
No one ever knows how it happens when it does
Completely blindsided
You can kiss my ass
All of my alliances never last
I can promise one thing will be sure
I can never be sure

I was a menace and you knew it
Everything good I had to ruin
You couldn’t even call my bluff
When I’d reach for the window and never jump

Maybe I overindulge in substances to create an emotional artifice
But it was never supposed to go like this
I just hope you know
I just hope you know
That ink become blood rushing in my veins
It was the antidote that drove the poison away
And I fear the written word will leave me in vain of all the memories that you erase
Of the 3AMs I’d lay awake out of the fear of my fate, of my mistakes
It was a lapse of judgement that turned militant
Cause I let you in and you let me down

I was a menace and you knew it
Everything good I had to ruin
You couldn’t even call my bluff
When I’d reach for the window and never jump

You always thought you knew what’s best for me
But you would always think the worst of me
Was it resentment or jealousy that jeopardized your identity?
You kept me around as a sexual fixation
I was no friend
I was a temptation
You couldn’t resist or admit
The chaos in my life and my depression
The paranoia in my head, I own up to all of it
I just wish that you could take responsibility for your actions
I would never talk shit without reason for it
But I’ve got a long list and it keeps growing
If you could, you should call a spade a fucking spade
But you can never stand by what you say
You can keep the friends, they don’t know you anyway
A criminal on a narcissistic escapade
You put the blade between my teeth
I can’t talk, I can’t breathe
It’s not schadenfreude for me like it was for you
I had to learn when a door closes, find a window to jump through
And in your eyes, it’s always true

I was a menace and you knew it
Everything good I had to ruin
You couldn’t even call my bluff
When I’d reach for the window
And never
And never
And never fucking jump

It was a lapse of judgement that turned militant
You should’ve left all that shit you said unsaid
And I have love in my heart but nothing left to give
Cause we kept missing each other whenever we were together
You were a one night stand I wish I never had
A parasitic infection that I never expected
Another bruised up baby begging for a skinning
You always got off even when I wasn’t winning
And on the tip of my tongue
We’re back where we begun

And I’m still feeling jaded
About how you treated me
I guess it’s kinda fucked up
The way that you get to me
And if I was a menace
Then you went and proved it
Got sick of your bullshit
So I had to go and screw it up
I went and screwed it up