No Sympathy

I keep that shit close—tight to my chest
I speak my grievances under my breath
If I wanted I could be the teacher’s pet
But I bite when I get angry
And I’m always upset

I’m convicted by the gleaming malpractice
Of my intentions and the neglect of my needs
I keep a pretty face, a facade of strength
To minimize the tyranny of my brain

Big big mental, bad bad health
Thinking that I wanna get rid of myself
Tell me what they’re drinking
Now, is that top shelf?
I would reach for anything to silence this hell

I hate to say it but I’m down on my luck
It’s been six years and I’m tired as fuck
I’d do anything to get unstuck
But I’ve been selling my body
And haven’t even made a buck

My therapist suggested another method
But it’s been two years since I was admitted
Meds took more from me than I took of them
Leaving me at the mercy of my tyrannous brain

Big big mental, bad bad health
Every move I make has to be in stealth
Tell me, how’re they functioning?
Is it really that well?
Cause I have done some things I could never tell

I can’t trust myself
I can’t believe myself
When I try my best
I only wreck myself

I know I let them down
I know I led them on
Cause everyone I touch
I end up doing wrong

So I dot my i’s and cross my t’s
I show my face at every party
But I won’t get no sympathy
Cause “life’s not out to get you”
It’s out to get me