searching for inspiration in an empty coffee house
bogged down by the past and all my “not”s
wishing i could escape these depressing thoughts
but there’s no safety in a colorless word—
no love for me to hold

rip me apart with the person i ought to be
the world i sought after is crumbling
so take my life
take everything

waking an hour ahead of the ville
being cut out by the people i once knew
hanging onto the words you spewed
gliding through the barren desert
that once was filled by you

am i drowning in the comfort of the woods?

the hug of the trees
my violent needs

i’m losing consciousness as we speak
my eyes are dark and my skin is bleak
and all you know is fading

me

confronting reality,
the tortured duality
of searching for safety
when there is no safety forming

tear that framework away
rip that mask off your face
as the formulated experience
projected onto our consciousness
is surmounting to a haze

i stumble out of your gaze

the lacerating trees
my sentient needs

i don’t want to destroy this self
i want to preserve it
and figure out who this self is

so push into the real world, i must
shedding every ounce of trust
this is what i know now:
it’s best that i let go now

do you know peace?
can you share it with me?
hiding my body in the way i bleed

do you know dying on the city streets?
drowning in sound, becoming insane
take my life and don’t complain

pick up my bones and build a bonfire
light my life ablaze—i am the eternal liar
i’ll be better in the desecration of whom you knew in this creation
better in the coloration of my solemn recreation

so take my life,
take everything
i don’t need a world with abundant strife
when it taught me death before it taught me life