Thirteen

Turning blue
As the sky turns gray
Never thought I’d be the one
To grow so opaquely discolored
so starkly blue
so devastated by you

Would you give me the space I need?
Or do I disrupt your search for peace?
I believe nobody
———don’t put your trust in me.

// Struggling with sobriety //
// Struggling to keep you near me //

I’m seasick in your eyeline
The subtle waves discomfort me
Your subtleties discomfort me

I’m lost at sea

I’d exorcise these demons but I fear it’s too complicated
My turning blue turning people too soon
I can feel the doom pitted in my stomach
Like an anchor in the ocean

It’s far too deep————I disgust me