viii. those years ago

i sit a block away
disgrace on my face
this city has grown cold
and i can’t remember a season where i was
happy

each metaphor has grown
overextended its reach
overstayed its welcome

there is still blood on the street
from where you beat me with your god complex
and i shed my insecurities

your knuckles have healed since
and my jawline has filled in
is this growing old in a timeless age?
how many more demons must i face?

i walk alone
i make mistakes

airborne in an ‘06 chevy
none of my life flashed before me
woke up in the middle of your front lawn
door opened by the hands of a god

i looked down and i wondered why i’m not gone

what would’ve happened if it were a moment later?
it doesn’t matter

slunk low in the backseat of another car
it’s happening now, like all those years ago
strung out and looking around
you’re reaching out
i’m nowhere to be found

i’ve lived a life of loss
jumping before moving cars
if it’s over now,
would you keep my heart?